story time
theatrestories
- so during this show
- (cinderella)
- (i was a stepsister)
- we made a bet
- it was a bet on me
- but not some wishy washy bet for a sandwhich deal
- this was real life
- this was money
- and the bet was that I could not touch every butt of every person in the show
- (every butt)
- i took the challenge immediately
- (i am not weak)
- but I had to do it all in one show
- and i had
- 10 minutes
- (10 minutes of time when i was not onstage)
- so what is a girl to do
- i can not touch every butt backstage
- (every butt)
- i had limited time
- i had to get
- creative
- i get the techies first
- it took me the whole ten minutes
- (they run fast)
- and I get the extras and some others in the dance sequence
- (multitasking)
- but here’s the thing
- now I have to get the main actors
- how will she do it?
- you ask
- well
- i will tell you
- i’ll tell you how i did it
- it’s called acting
- i touched the butts
- onstage
- (all of the butts)
- i touch the prince’s servant’s butt on my way onstage
- (a light tap)
- (too fast for the naked eye to see)
- oh but he felt it
- he knew
- he knew i was out for the butts
- (every butt)
- i saw the fear in his eyes
- no
- he mouths to me
- but it is too late
- i’ve gone too far
- i must not stop
- twenty minutes until the end
- i must work fast
- i touch my stepsister’s butt
- she is not surprised
- she has bet money on this
- (she knows what i am capable of)
- i touch my stepmother’s butt
- she is standing
- she forgets her line
- (she has lost seven dollars)
- and now things become
- difficult
- i am on the floor of the stage
- (for the scene)
- and the prince
- (the next victim)
- (he has bet against me)
- he is standing above me
- facing away from me
- butt first
- this is my chance
- it is now or never
- i put a hand on the back of his leg
- he knows
- he is speaking
- his voice cracks
- he smells defeat
- his defeat
- my hand ventures up
- (towards the butt)
- he begins to sing
- i touch the butt
- (every butt)
- i have won
- he stumbles over a word
- he is the loser
- the curtain closes
- i have done it
- all that is left is the wedding scene
- i have touched all the butts
- (every butt)
- i can’t believe you got cinderella’s butt
- one says backstage
- my heart stops
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOy6hqzfsAs
- i have not gotten the last butt
- (the most precious butt)
- i cannot do it
- i think
- i am in a quick change
- (another girl’s hands are down my pants)
- i cannot do this during the wedding scene
- but i will not lose
- i have come so far
- i stop
- your shoes
- the techie says
- i cannot come back
- it must be done
- i walk
- no
- i run
- to the next room
- cinderella is there
- wearing a tan leotard
- this is it
- i think
- i do not know this girl well
- (she is catholic)
- god forgive me for the sin i am to commit
- i whisper
- (i cross my chest)
- the time has come
- a crowd has circled around the room
- they are watching
- waiting
- cinderella does not know
- she has not yet truly been exposed to the world and its horrors
- (she will be)
- i stop
- i am so close
- i do it
- both hands are on the butt
- (the most precious butt)
- i have done it
- i’m sorry
- i say
- it had to be done
- don’t stop
- she says
- what
- i say
- i did not expect this
- a variable has been thrown into the equation
- (the butt equation)
- i like it
- she says
- she looks back at me
- i look at her
- (ten seconds until curtain)
- she does not blink
- (nine seconds)
- i do not know what to do
- (eight seconds)
- my hands are still on the butt
- (seven )
- i want to move them but i cannot
- (six)
- i am not wearing shoes
- (five)
- the stage manager busts in
- (saved by the manager)
- the next five seconds are a blur
- my hands are no longer on the butt
- (i don’t know how)
- i am on stage
- i am not wearing shoes
- the theatre teacher is in the audience
- she knows
- she sees
- this is the end
- i think
- it was worth it
- i bow
- i am smiling
- i have won
oh my fucking god
(via theatrestories)
